何でまたこんなに感じる必要があるのか？

why do i have to feel this way again?

i thought things won't change that big when you come here. i thought your stay here in japan would only mean i could at last have a better companion here.
but what i feel today is so different. i am somewhat afraid. i am afraid my love for you before will be going back. i don't know why. am i jealous of somebody? am i needed again by you? have i got to love you again, to you loving somebody i have known long before?
i don't really know what happened lately. i am really afraid. i don't want to remember the bitter past. i don't want to do the unwanted past.
but i think i have to confess again. but when?
things are getting crazy at me again.
forgive me...
i think i still love you...